


The Best-Laid Plans

by canufeelthemagictonight



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Based on a Tumblr Post, Confessions, Gen, Murder, My First Work in This Fandom, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Rated for Miu's potty mouth, Short One Shot, chapters 1 through 3 are the same, different Chapter 4 victim and culprit, kind of crack but kind of not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 18:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13529637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canufeelthemagictonight/pseuds/canufeelthemagictonight
Summary: "Miu, you look pale," observes Keebo. "Are you feeling all right?"In which Miu succeeds at killing Kokichi, and then proceeds to fail at everything else.A brief, slightly silly Chapter 4 AU.





	The Best-Laid Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure: I love Miu. I just saw a Tumblr post and thought this would be fun to write.  
> Full disclosure #2: All of the dialogue is from said Tumblr post. [Here it is.](http://hopeymchope.tumblr.com/post/170124766032/in-an-au-where-miu-successfully-murdered-ouma) I just took it and, with permission, turned it into a fic.

Another murder. Another case. Another investigation.

"All right." Shuichi takes a deep breath, trying not to look at Kokichi's motionless body. "First, we need to look at the computer's logs to see when everyone logged out. That should help us confirm Kaito's alibi."

He turns to Miu. The blonde inventor is shaking like an earthquake, and her eyes dart around the room as if she expects a fire to break out. "R-right!" she stammers. "I can...I'll...fuckin'..." Terror coats her voice. "I-I can get those for you!"

"Miu, you look pale," observes Keebo. "Are you feeling all right?"

_"Quit grilling me!"_

Everyone goes silent. Shuichi frowns at Miu, his detective instincts telling him that something isn't right. Why is Miu acting so strangely? She's sweating...is she... _did_ she...?

"Oh, my," remarks Tsumugi in a deadpan voice. "This is just plain suspicious."

Miu drops to her knees, tears gushing from her eyes like broken geysers. "Fine!" she screams. "I admit it! I killed the bastard!"

Shuichi's mouth drops open.

"Miu!" Keebo gasps, his tone laced with heartbroken shock. "Why?"

Kaito, on the other hand, seems quite pleased with this turn of events. "Whoa!" A relieved grin shines on his face. "Nice work, Shuichi!"

Shuichi's head is spinning with bewilderment. "What..." _Miu confessed. Miu just confessed, and we haven't even started the investigation yet. If Kokichi was alive, he'd probably be laughing his head off._

"Are you cocksuckers happy now?!?" Miu wails.

"I'm just saying, man," says Kaito, throwing an arm around Shuichi. "You cleared my name even faster than I expected!"

"Ah...I didn't really do..."

Kaito isn't listening.

Gonta shakes his head, denial flickering across his otherwise confused expression. "This is wrong!" he protests. "Miu _not_ a murderer! Someone making her say this!"

"I don't think so," says Maki quietly.

"Nyeh..." Himiko, like Kaito, is smiling. "It's okay, Shuichi."

"What?"

"I know that _you_ know that my magic made her confess," chirps the tiny redhead, "but..." She winks. "I'll let you take the credit this time."

 _But I_ didn't _make her confess,_ Shuichi almost shouts. _I didn't do anything. I don't even know what's going on._

Keebo, like Gonta, seems unwilling to believe that Miu Iruma is now a murderer. "Miu," he whimpers, "you _must_ tell me _how_ you could..." He points a trembling finger at Kokichi's corpse. "...do such a thing."

"With...with a hammer..." sobs Miu, who is now lying face-down on the floor in a puddle of her own tears.

Keebo scowls. "That is _not_ what I meant!"

It's around this time that Monokuma randomly pops up out of nowhere. "Well," he sighs, rolling his eyes at the still-hysterical Miu, "this is just genuinely disappointing."

"Monokuma," asks Gonta, "did Miu really kill...?"

"Of _course_ she did!" snaps Monokuma. "I mean, just _look_ at her! She's about to puke all over the tiling!"

"Fuck... _fuck you!"_ bawls Miu between dry heaves. "You...fucking _furry!"_

Monokuma shrugs. "You can't fake that."

"Hey...wait...do we still have to hold a class trial now?" Kaito wants to know.

"Yup!" giggles Monokuma. "Rules are rules!"

And so, the eight (soon to be seven) surviving students make their way to the elevator. Keebo carries Miu. She's crying into his chest, and neither of them seem to care about the possible damage to his circuits. Shuichi, who walks with Kaito and Maki, watches them with broken eyes. "I can't believe we're expected to send Miu to her death for this," he grumbles.

"I know exactly what you mean," Maki replies. "In my line of work, Kokichi is what we call a 'freebie.'"

"That's...not what I was saying at all, actually," mutters Shuichi.

"Yeah!" shouts Kaito. "Come on, Maki Roll! That's not cool!"

Maki wears her typical mask of apathy. "What? I'm just saying that there are some people that the world is better off without. Dictators, serial killers, sociopaths...gremlins..."

Kaito shrieks _"Gremlins?!?"_ and jumps into Maki's arms.

"Now that you mention it," muses Tsumugi, tossing one last glance at Kokichi's body, "Kokichi _did_ look like an anime Babadook..."

Shuichi doesn't know what that is, and his head hurts too much for him to ask.

**Author's Note:**

> and then they had the shortest trial ever lol


End file.
